Proofreading: A Dying Art

Hello, my slightly deranged friends,


Check out these riveting headlines, taken from the pages of some of the world’s most prestigious newspapers, along with a reader’s logical comments. Somebody sent these to my wife. I thought they were funny. Maybe you will too.

MAN KILLS SELF BEFORE SHOOTING WIFE AND DAUGHTER

(OK, I give up.  How did he do that?)

SOMETHING WENT WRONG IN JET CRASH, EXPERT SAYS

(No, really?  Ya think?)

POLICE BEGIN CAMPAIGN TO RUN DOWN JAYWALKERS

(Now that's taking things a bit far!)

PANDA MATING FAILS; VETERINARIAN TAKES OVER

(What a guy!)

MINERS REFUSE TO WORK AFTER DEATH

(Those no-good-for-nothin' lazy so-and-so's!)

JUVENILE COURT TO TRY SHOOTING DEFENDANT

(Let’s see if that works any better than a fair trial!)

WAR DIMS HOPE FOR PEACE

(I can see where it might have that effect!)

IF STRIKE ISN'T SETTLED QUICKLY IT MAY LAST A WHILE

(Ya think?!)

COLD WAVE LINKED TO TEMPERATURES

(Who would have thought!)

ENFIELD COUPLE SLAIN; POLICE SUSPECT HOMICIDE

(They may be on to something!)

RED TAPE HOLDS UP NEW BRIDGES

(You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?)

MAN STRUCK BY LIGHTNING FACES BATTERY CHARGE

(He probably IS the battery charge!)

NEW STUDY OF OBESITY LOOKS FOR LARGER TEST GROUP

(Weren't the other guys fat enough?!)

ASTRONAUT TAKES BLAME FOR GAS IN SPACECRAFT

(That's what he gets for eating those beans!)

KIDS MAKE NUTRITIOUS SNACKS

(Do they taste like chicken?)

LOCAL HIGH SCHOOL DROPOUTS CUT IN HALF

(The Chainsaw Massacre all over again!)

HOSPITALS ARE SUED BY 7 FOOT DOCTORS

(Boy, are they tall!)

And the winner is...

TYPHOON RIPS THROUGH CEMETERY; HUNDREDS DEAD

(Did I read that right?)


Beijos e abraços, (In Portuguese = kisses and hugs)
Mike