Thursday, August 11, 2011

Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Texan?

Hello you crazy people,

I haven't written anything here for a long time.  My inspiration and creativity have been running low, and so has my spare time, but I plan to resume writing once in a while.  I have several articles going, in various stages of completion and will post them soon.  In the meanwhile, I offer you the following story that my daughter-in-law, Sharon, sent me.  This little charmer poses the question, "Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Texan?"  I hope you find it as amusing as I did.

Here is a little test that will help you decide.  The answer can be found in your response to the following scenario:

You are walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children.  Suddenly, an Islamic terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the knife, and charges at you.  You are carrying a Kimber 1911 .45 ACP, and you are an expert shot.  You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.  What do you do?  Think carefully.

The Democrat’s Answer:

“Well, really that’s not enough information to answer the question!  Does the man look poor or oppressed?  Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?  Could we run away?  What does my wife think?  What about the kids?  Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?  What does the law say about this situation?  Does the pistol have an appropriate safety built into it?  Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?  Is it possible he’d be happy with just killing me?  Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?  If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?  Should I call 9-1-1?  Why is this street so deserted?  We need to raise taxes, have a “paint-and-weed day” and make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.  This is all so confusing!  I need to debate this with some friends for a few days and try to come to a consensus.”


The Republican’s Answer:



The Texan’s Answer:

Click...... (Followed by sounds of reloading)

Daughter says: “Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silvertips we bought, or just the regular hollow-points?”

Son: “Dad, can I shoot the next one?”

Wife: “Listen to me now, Buford, you ain’t taking that to the taxidermist!  You hear?”

Oh yeah, that's what I'm talkin' about.  You've just gotta love those down-home fellers.  They know how to take care of business.

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