Monday, March 22, 2010

Ray Stevens Lives! - "We The People"

Hello crazy friends, near and far,

I have been a big Ray Stevens fan for a long time. He had me the minute I laid ears on that great classic song, "Ahab, the Arab, the sheik of the burnin' sands..." I remember years ago when we lived in Brazil and used to travel long distances by car. We would play Ray Stevens tapes to keep our kids occupied. As a result, to this day they can repeat every word and sing every tune of every one of those crazy songs. I think it may have warped their minds but you'll have to check with them and decide for yourself.

I recently came across this song by Ray and it made me laugh out loud. Moreover, it pretty much sums up my feelings about the recent health-care bill debacle. But regardless of your political leanings, this will make you chuckle. Guaranteed.

Signing off for now,

Monday, February 22, 2010

Out of the Silence

Hello, my crazy friends and relatives,

You probably thought that I'd given up blogging all together. No, but I've been busy and haven't had anything profound to say. However, my sense of guilt has once again driven me back to the keyboard so here I am. I must confess to you that I still don't have much to say but why should I let that hold me back? Right? It sure never stops the politicians, so why should it stop me?

I'm like a pressure cooker. Stuff happens and I sit around thinking about it. The pressure builds and the mental juices start flowing and eventually I feel ready to comment. Sometimes what escapes turns out just to be gas or hot air. Other times it's something witty or helpful. The latter is what I'm always hoping for, of course.

So in the meantime, while the pressure is building and I'm thinking of something of witty to say, I'm including an old video clip of Flip Wilson, one of my favorite funny men. I hope you like it.

I'll write again soon. I have some things in draft form that I'll share with you as soon as I get them polished just a little bit more. Thanks for checking in here once in a while and I especially thank those of you who occasionally comment on something I've put up. That encourages me to do better and to keep it up.


Friday, January 15, 2010

Equal Time for the Ladies

Hail, all ye who read this rag,

I'm back, like a bad rash. I wrote an article back in December entitled "So where do you draw the line?" Check it out. Since then, however, several people have remarked that it was unfair to the women, leaving them out of the discussion entirely. They said that my article was written totally from a man's viewpoint. Duh! OK. So what's your point? I'm a man. That's the only viewpoint I have from which to write. Besides, I was speaking specifically to the problem of what to call old men. Everyone already knows what to call old ladies--"Yes, ma'am. No, ma'am. Whatever you say, ma'am."

OK, so here I take up the challenge to list some of the terms used to classify elderly persons of the feminine persuasion. At first I had hoped to get some definitions for the terms and also to be able to put them in some sort of prioritized listing but that didn't work out. There doesn't seem to be any order to the list. I want you all to know, however, that I take up this topic at some personal risk to life and limb. I happen to live with a little ol' lady that can still knock me out with one punch, so I have to be careful. If she reads this she'll beat me like a rented mule. The woman has no sense of humor whatsoever. Just jokin', honey!

Anyway, where was I? Oh yes, names to describe old women... I've compiled a partial list of names that come easily to mind. Consider the following:
  • old hag
  • biddy
  • battle-ax
  • crone
  • fishwife
  • ol' gray mare
  • fussbudget
  • witch
  • fusspot
  • old bat
  • dowager
  • matron
  • old bird
  • old bag
  • coffin dodger
  • blue haired granny
As I look over this list I can't help but notice that most of these names have nothing to do with the age of the woman in question but rather more to do with her character, temperament, and personality.

By the way, a friend of my wife sent us an email with the following list of "13 Things PMS Stands For." I'm just passin' it on.
  1. Pass My Shotgun
  2. Psychotic Mood Shift
  3. Perpetual Munching Spree
  4. Puffy Mid-Section
  5. People Make me Sick
  6. Provide Me Sweets
  7. Pardon My Sobbing
  8. Pimples May Surface
  9. Pass My Sweatpants
  10. Pissy Mood Syndrome
  11. Plainly Men Suck
  12. Pack My Stuff
  13. Potential Murder Suspect
When I tried to point out that #5 has 4 words instead of 3 like the others, without saying anything my wife just pointed to #13. That's when I decided it would be better to just leave it alone, if you get my drift.

Walking softly but laughin' like crazy,

Sunday, January 10, 2010

My Second Claim to Fame

Hello all you little crazy people,

Years ago my wife and I were active in a teaching/preaching/musical missionary ministry that took us to lots of interesting places. Our two little sons, Jonathan and Christopher, went almost everywhere with us. People would pinch their pudgy pink cheeks and say, "How cute. So you are Pastor Mike's little boy!" In other words, they were defined by who they were related to, by being my sons.

Skip forward a bunch of years. Now I go to a party or some event and people pinch my cute pudgy cheeks and say, "So you are Chris' dad," or "You are Jon's dad." The shoe is on the other foot. Now I am defined by being somebody's Old Man.

Since Chris became a pro-fighter I get that a lot. He is my biggest claim to fame anymore. I am Chris "The Professor" Wilson's dad.

Recently I was reminded again that I have a second claim to fame. My personal physician is a famous dude who was recently on "FOX and FRIENDS" on Fox News and has a hot new single entitled "Freedom, Family, and Faith" playing on the country stations.

His name is Rick Jackson (Ricky Lee Jackson) and he has been my doctor for umpteen years. He's a committed Christian and a political conservative, not to mention his being a good musician. He also happens to be the father of three pretty famous kids: his two sons, Jonathan and Richard are both well-known Hollywood actors; his daughter, Candice, is a published author.

If you want to read more about Rick and what he stands for check out his website at

Living on secondhand fame,