Hello my wacky friends,
Most of us husbands find it intimidating and perplexing to try and buy good gifts for our wives. In my opinion, any man who says he finds it easy is either lying, or is some kind of weird mutant metro-sexual weenie who should not be taken seriously anyway. At no time will the Mars/Venus thing rear its ugly head more frighteningly than at Christmas, Valentine's Day, her birthday, and your anniversary. These four are the yearly mine fields that every man must pass through, hopefully without getting his legs blown off and bleeding to death.
Let's take a look at a brief case study. What man has not considered getting his little lady a new dishwasher for their anniversary? His reasoning goes this way... "Our old one is broken, we need a new one, and this one is on sale. It will save her a lot of work, for which she will be very grateful. It is in her favorite color. It is expensive, so I know she'll appreciate it. On top of everything, the store guy says they will deliver it on our big day with a big red bow on it. What could possibly go wrong?"
My naive friend, RUN, do not walk, to the nearest exit! Get out of the appliance section. You are about to make the worst mistake of your life. For the Big Four special occasions mentioned above, appliances are never, I repeat, NEVER, the right gift for the little woman. If you go forward with this plan it will put you in the DOGHOUSE, eating quiche and drinking chai tea for every meal! And you will be there for a very long time. Women have long memories, like elephants and the IRS.
The following husband training video will explain what I am trying to tell you. You young fellows especially, pay close attention.
As an old salty-dog husband who has made his share of near-fatal mistakes in the gift-buying area, I feel more than qualified to tell you young bucks a thing or two. Jewelry is the thing. It is always a sure winner. Chocolates and flowers should accompany the jewelry. Do not buy appliances. Do not buy power tools. Stay away from kitchen utensils or gardening implements of any kind. Besides being a greased slide straight to the doghouse, these things can easily be turned into weapons in the hands of an angry wife. Do not run the risk!
I hope this little instructional session has been helpful. Now go out and sin no more.
Crazy, but still running free,
Mike
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Friday, May 29, 2009
Country Kids
Hello wingnuts,
I was just sitting here reflecting on the good ol' days back when I was a kid growing up in the country. I had a wonderful childhood, with freedom to run and play, and with no fears about perverts or molesters. My friends and I spent hours swinging on ropes from the rafters in old barns. We used to hang around the old grain elevator and play hide and seek among the old box cars. I had a horse, a gentle Morgan mare named Trixie, and we rode together all over the hills overlooking Imbler and Summerville. I also had a paper route, starting when I was 7 years old. I delivered the LaGrande Evening Observer to people all over the Imbler area, riding my little red 20" bicycle. When I got hired for that job I was the youngest paper boy in Oregon and have an old yellowed newspaper clipping to prove it.
Later we moved to Dallas, OR where we had a big ranch style house out on the Dallas/Rickreall Hwy. I went to Orchard View School when I was in the 5th Grade. It was a two-room country school house. The first and second graders were in one room and the 3rd-5th graders were in the other. We played baseball or dodge-ball during recess. Again, I had a horse and a dog and freedom to wander and it was wonderful. My friends and I used to swim in Rickreall Creek and go out shooting our .22's and doing a bunch of other crazy stuff that my children have been prevented from doing because of growing up in cities.
Looking back I know that I was very fortunate. I got to do all the things that people today are paranoid about. I got my first gun from my Uncle Ray when I was seven. It was a single-shot .22 rifle that he had cut down for my Aunt Lois to shoot but she never got interested in it so he gave it to me. I always carried a knife, and a big sharp one. In fact, every kid I knew carried a knife, even some of the girls. It was normal, and no one ever thought of using it to hurt another person. Most homes back then had gun cabinets and they were always unlocked. Farmers also usually had a rifle in a rack in their pickup. They would park on the street in LaGrande and not even roll up the window. No one would think of stealing it.
Lots of people never locked their houses back then, unless they left for vacation and were planning to be gone for a week. Our house was never locked during the day. I didn't have a house key until I was a junior in high school and we were living in Salem. Up until then I had never needed one. Looking back I see that I was growing up in a different world than the ones my children and grandchildren know. It makes me melancholy to realize that they will never have those experiences.
A friend sent me the following and I thought it was funny. It kind of goes along with what I have just been saying. Enjoy...
Oh, yea... did I happen to mention that the girls were pretty tough back then too? You just gotta love those farm girls.
Old and crazy, and remembering those good days,
Mike
I was just sitting here reflecting on the good ol' days back when I was a kid growing up in the country. I had a wonderful childhood, with freedom to run and play, and with no fears about perverts or molesters. My friends and I spent hours swinging on ropes from the rafters in old barns. We used to hang around the old grain elevator and play hide and seek among the old box cars. I had a horse, a gentle Morgan mare named Trixie, and we rode together all over the hills overlooking Imbler and Summerville. I also had a paper route, starting when I was 7 years old. I delivered the LaGrande Evening Observer to people all over the Imbler area, riding my little red 20" bicycle. When I got hired for that job I was the youngest paper boy in Oregon and have an old yellowed newspaper clipping to prove it.
Later we moved to Dallas, OR where we had a big ranch style house out on the Dallas/Rickreall Hwy. I went to Orchard View School when I was in the 5th Grade. It was a two-room country school house. The first and second graders were in one room and the 3rd-5th graders were in the other. We played baseball or dodge-ball during recess. Again, I had a horse and a dog and freedom to wander and it was wonderful. My friends and I used to swim in Rickreall Creek and go out shooting our .22's and doing a bunch of other crazy stuff that my children have been prevented from doing because of growing up in cities.
Looking back I know that I was very fortunate. I got to do all the things that people today are paranoid about. I got my first gun from my Uncle Ray when I was seven. It was a single-shot .22 rifle that he had cut down for my Aunt Lois to shoot but she never got interested in it so he gave it to me. I always carried a knife, and a big sharp one. In fact, every kid I knew carried a knife, even some of the girls. It was normal, and no one ever thought of using it to hurt another person. Most homes back then had gun cabinets and they were always unlocked. Farmers also usually had a rifle in a rack in their pickup. They would park on the street in LaGrande and not even roll up the window. No one would think of stealing it.
Lots of people never locked their houses back then, unless they left for vacation and were planning to be gone for a week. Our house was never locked during the day. I didn't have a house key until I was a junior in high school and we were living in Salem. Up until then I had never needed one. Looking back I see that I was growing up in a different world than the ones my children and grandchildren know. It makes me melancholy to realize that they will never have those experiences.
A friend sent me the following and I thought it was funny. It kind of goes along with what I have just been saying. Enjoy...
The Tennessee Farm Kid
(Writing a letter home from San Diego MARINE CORPS Recruit Training)
Alice(Writing a letter home from San Diego MARINE CORPS Recruit Training)
Dear Ma and Pa,
I am well. Hope you are. Tell Brother Walt and Brother Elmer the Marine Corps beats working for old man Minch by a mile. Tell them to join up quick before all of the places are filled.
I was restless at first because you got to stay in bed till nearly 6 AM. But I am getting so I like to sleep late. Tell Walt and Elmer all you do before breakfast is smooth your cot, and shine some things. No hogs to slop, feed to pitch, mash to mix, wood to split, or fire to lay. Practically nothing.
Men got to shave but it is not so bad, there’s warm water. Breakfast is strong on trimmings like fruit juice, cereal, eggs, bacon, etc., but kind of weak on chops, potatoes, ham, steak, fried eggplant, pie and other regular food, but tell Walt and Elmer you can always sit by the two city boys that live on coffee. Their food, plus yours, holds you until noon when you get fed again. It’s no wonder these city boys can’t walk much.
We go on “route marches,” which the platoon sergeant says are long walks to harden us. If he thinks so, it’s not my place to tell him different. A “route march” is about as far as to our mailbox at home. Then the city guys get sore feet and we all ride back in trucks.
The sergeant is like a school teacher. He nags a lot. The Captain is like the school board. Majors and Colonels just ride around and frown. They don’t bother you none.
This next will kill Walt and Elmer with laughing. I keep getting medals for shooting. I don’t know why. The bulls-eye is near as big as a chipmunk head and don’t move, and it ain’t shooting at you like the Higgett boys at home. All you got to do is lie there all comfortable and hit it. You don’t even load your own cartridges. They come in boxes.
Then we have what they call “hand-to-hand combat training.” You get to wrestle with them city boys. I have to be real careful though, they break real easy. It ain’t like fighting with that old bull at home. I’m about the best they got in this except for that Tug Jordan from over in Silver Lake... I only beat him once. He joined up the same time as me, but I’m only 5’6” and 130 pounds and he’s 6’8” and near 300 pounds dry.
Be sure to tell Walt and Elmer to hurry and join before other fellers get onto this setup and come stampeding in.
Your loving daughter,
I am well. Hope you are. Tell Brother Walt and Brother Elmer the Marine Corps beats working for old man Minch by a mile. Tell them to join up quick before all of the places are filled.
I was restless at first because you got to stay in bed till nearly 6 AM. But I am getting so I like to sleep late. Tell Walt and Elmer all you do before breakfast is smooth your cot, and shine some things. No hogs to slop, feed to pitch, mash to mix, wood to split, or fire to lay. Practically nothing.
Men got to shave but it is not so bad, there’s warm water. Breakfast is strong on trimmings like fruit juice, cereal, eggs, bacon, etc., but kind of weak on chops, potatoes, ham, steak, fried eggplant, pie and other regular food, but tell Walt and Elmer you can always sit by the two city boys that live on coffee. Their food, plus yours, holds you until noon when you get fed again. It’s no wonder these city boys can’t walk much.
We go on “route marches,” which the platoon sergeant says are long walks to harden us. If he thinks so, it’s not my place to tell him different. A “route march” is about as far as to our mailbox at home. Then the city guys get sore feet and we all ride back in trucks.
The sergeant is like a school teacher. He nags a lot. The Captain is like the school board. Majors and Colonels just ride around and frown. They don’t bother you none.
This next will kill Walt and Elmer with laughing. I keep getting medals for shooting. I don’t know why. The bulls-eye is near as big as a chipmunk head and don’t move, and it ain’t shooting at you like the Higgett boys at home. All you got to do is lie there all comfortable and hit it. You don’t even load your own cartridges. They come in boxes.
Then we have what they call “hand-to-hand combat training.” You get to wrestle with them city boys. I have to be real careful though, they break real easy. It ain’t like fighting with that old bull at home. I’m about the best they got in this except for that Tug Jordan from over in Silver Lake... I only beat him once. He joined up the same time as me, but I’m only 5’6” and 130 pounds and he’s 6’8” and near 300 pounds dry.
Be sure to tell Walt and Elmer to hurry and join before other fellers get onto this setup and come stampeding in.
Your loving daughter,
Oh, yea... did I happen to mention that the girls were pretty tough back then too? You just gotta love those farm girls.
Old and crazy, and remembering those good days,
Mike
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Rube Goldberg lives on
Hi Ho, crazy people,
The name, Rube Goldberg, may or may not mean anything to you. Reuben Goldberg (1883-1970) was an American cartoonist, sculptor, author, engineer, and inventor who received a 1948 Pulitzer Prize for his political cartooning. However, he is probably best known for his series of very popular cartoons depicting "Rube Goldberg contraptions," complex devices that perform simple tasks in indirect and complicated ways. I grew up hearing my Dad use the expression that such-n-such "looked like a Rube Goldberg deal." Anything that was sort of patched together and makeshift but could get the job done was classified as a Rube Goldberg contraption.
The real Rube Goldberg is dead and his cartoons are long forgotten but his name and his creative genius live on. In fact, there is an annual Rube Goldberg contest and convention where people from all over the world compete to make the most outrageous machines to do the simplest things. The following video was produced by Honda. I love it! I think Rube Goldberg would have loved it too.
I find that I am sometimes like Rube Goldberg. I am guilty of making things difficult that should be simple. Notice that I didn't say, "easy." Some things are simple and uncomplicated, yet difficult. For example, being a Christian is simple, but not easy. But all too often we make it harder by making it complicated. Does that make any sense?
Let me give you an example of what I'm trying to say. Christians often turn Christianity into a list of rules, of do's and don'ts, much like the ancient Pharisees did with God's Law. We build fences and we create our own religious rules to live by. But what does God require of us? Micah 6:8 says, "He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the LORD require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God." That is not easy, but it is pretty simple. Or how about Deuteronomy 10:12-13? "And now, O Israel, what does the LORD your God ask of you but to fear the LORD your God, to walk in all His ways, to love Him, to serve the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul, and to observe the LORD's commands and decrees that I am giving you today for your own good?" Jehovah God through the prophet Isaiah sums it up this way in Isaiah 1:16-17, "Wash and make yourselves clean. Take your evil deeds out of My sight! Stop doing wrong, learn to do right! Seek justice, encourage the oppressed. Defend the cause of the fatherless, plead the case of the widow." One more passage to make my point. James 1:27 says, "Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world."
There are a lot of Rube Goldberg Christians running around. They make complicated what God intended to be simple. Again, notice that I didn't say, "easy." Being a follower of Jesus has never been easy but let's not complicate it any more than it needs to be.
Still crazy and not improving,
Miguelito
The name, Rube Goldberg, may or may not mean anything to you. Reuben Goldberg (1883-1970) was an American cartoonist, sculptor, author, engineer, and inventor who received a 1948 Pulitzer Prize for his political cartooning. However, he is probably best known for his series of very popular cartoons depicting "Rube Goldberg contraptions," complex devices that perform simple tasks in indirect and complicated ways. I grew up hearing my Dad use the expression that such-n-such "looked like a Rube Goldberg deal." Anything that was sort of patched together and makeshift but could get the job done was classified as a Rube Goldberg contraption.
The real Rube Goldberg is dead and his cartoons are long forgotten but his name and his creative genius live on. In fact, there is an annual Rube Goldberg contest and convention where people from all over the world compete to make the most outrageous machines to do the simplest things. The following video was produced by Honda. I love it! I think Rube Goldberg would have loved it too.
I find that I am sometimes like Rube Goldberg. I am guilty of making things difficult that should be simple. Notice that I didn't say, "easy." Some things are simple and uncomplicated, yet difficult. For example, being a Christian is simple, but not easy. But all too often we make it harder by making it complicated. Does that make any sense?
Let me give you an example of what I'm trying to say. Christians often turn Christianity into a list of rules, of do's and don'ts, much like the ancient Pharisees did with God's Law. We build fences and we create our own religious rules to live by. But what does God require of us? Micah 6:8 says, "He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the LORD require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God." That is not easy, but it is pretty simple. Or how about Deuteronomy 10:12-13? "And now, O Israel, what does the LORD your God ask of you but to fear the LORD your God, to walk in all His ways, to love Him, to serve the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul, and to observe the LORD's commands and decrees that I am giving you today for your own good?" Jehovah God through the prophet Isaiah sums it up this way in Isaiah 1:16-17, "Wash and make yourselves clean. Take your evil deeds out of My sight! Stop doing wrong, learn to do right! Seek justice, encourage the oppressed. Defend the cause of the fatherless, plead the case of the widow." One more passage to make my point. James 1:27 says, "Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world."
There are a lot of Rube Goldberg Christians running around. They make complicated what God intended to be simple. Again, notice that I didn't say, "easy." Being a follower of Jesus has never been easy but let's not complicate it any more than it needs to be.
Still crazy and not improving,
Miguelito
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Offline and out of circulation...
Hello crazy friends,
I can't believe it's been so long since my last blog entry. I have no good excuse except that I've been busy and also running on my reserve tank. I've discovered that blogging is not easy. To continually come up with new insights or to find interesting tidbits is hard and time consuming. I apologize to those of you who occasionally check in at this blog to see what I've been up to. Aunt Fern, I'll try to do better.
I did find something that I think is amazing and I want to share it with you. This is a video by a group called The VOCA People. They are an amazing acappella singing group. I think you will agree.
Our son, Christopher, is staying with us for a few days. He flew up from Rio for a UFC fight that was supposed to happen on Saturday, May 23rd. However, his fight got canceled due to a snarl-up with his medical record. It wasn't Chris' fault and the UFC went ahead and paid his fight fee and will reschedule him for the next possible UFC event, perhaps as early as the end of June. At any rate, it was disappointing for all of us. He was cocked, loaded, and ready to go. Oh well.
Please remember to pray for him and his family. They were recent victims of a home invasion robbery in Rio that was very traumatic. We just thank God that He spared them and that all four of them came out of it alive. You can read Chris' account of the robbery on his website at http://www.chriswilsonmma.com. It's one of the first blog entries, entitled "It was scary."
Until next time,
Mike
I can't believe it's been so long since my last blog entry. I have no good excuse except that I've been busy and also running on my reserve tank. I've discovered that blogging is not easy. To continually come up with new insights or to find interesting tidbits is hard and time consuming. I apologize to those of you who occasionally check in at this blog to see what I've been up to. Aunt Fern, I'll try to do better.
I did find something that I think is amazing and I want to share it with you. This is a video by a group called The VOCA People. They are an amazing acappella singing group. I think you will agree.
Our son, Christopher, is staying with us for a few days. He flew up from Rio for a UFC fight that was supposed to happen on Saturday, May 23rd. However, his fight got canceled due to a snarl-up with his medical record. It wasn't Chris' fault and the UFC went ahead and paid his fight fee and will reschedule him for the next possible UFC event, perhaps as early as the end of June. At any rate, it was disappointing for all of us. He was cocked, loaded, and ready to go. Oh well.
Please remember to pray for him and his family. They were recent victims of a home invasion robbery in Rio that was very traumatic. We just thank God that He spared them and that all four of them came out of it alive. You can read Chris' account of the robbery on his website at http://www.chriswilsonmma.com. It's one of the first blog entries, entitled "It was scary."
Until next time,
Mike
Saturday, March 7, 2009
A.W.O.L.
Dear crazy friends (and insane relatives),
I'm back, like a bad rash. I'm embarrassed to see how long it's been since I posted anything on here. My Aunt Fern told me the other day to get crackin' and write something because she's tired of checking my blog and finding no updates. So-oooooo, here I go.
But breaking back into the blogging routine is not something to be taken lightly, something you do all at once. You have to kind of ease into it, slowly. So I'm just going to post something to make you smile. At least, something to make you men smile. You ladies might not think this is funny at all. I've observed that women have a weird sense of humor. So at the risk of being considered politically incorrect I give you...
From: Workplace Hazardous Materials Information System
Subject: WOMAN—A Chemical Analysis
Element: Woman
Symbol: WO2
Discoverer: Adam (last name unknown)
Atomic Mass: Accepted as 118 lbs. but known to vary from 100 to 550 lbs.
Occurrence: Copious quantities in all urban areas but also found in rural regions
Physical Properties:
1. Surface sometimes plain but usually covered with a painted film
2. Boils at nothing, freezes without reason
3. Melts if given special treatment
4. Bitter if incorrectly used
5. Found in various states ranging from virgin metal to common ore
6. Yields to pressure applied to correct points
Chemical Properties:
1. Has a great affinity for gold, silver, platinum, and precious stones
2. Absorbs great quantities of expensive substances
3. May explode spontaneously without prior warning for no known reason
4. Insoluble in liquids, but activity greatly increased by saturation in alcohol
5. Most powerful money-reducing agent known to man
Common Uses:
1. Highly ornamental, especially in sports cars and sailboats
2. Can be a great aid to relaxation
Tests:
1. Pure specimen turns rosy pink when discovered in the natural state
2. Turns green when placed beside a better specimen
Hazards:
1. Highly dangerous except in experienced hands
2. Illegal to possess more than one
Planning to write again soon,
Mike
I'm back, like a bad rash. I'm embarrassed to see how long it's been since I posted anything on here. My Aunt Fern told me the other day to get crackin' and write something because she's tired of checking my blog and finding no updates. So-oooooo, here I go.
But breaking back into the blogging routine is not something to be taken lightly, something you do all at once. You have to kind of ease into it, slowly. So I'm just going to post something to make you smile. At least, something to make you men smile. You ladies might not think this is funny at all. I've observed that women have a weird sense of humor. So at the risk of being considered politically incorrect I give you...
From: Workplace Hazardous Materials Information System
Subject: WOMAN—A Chemical Analysis
Element: Woman
Symbol: WO2
Discoverer: Adam (last name unknown)
Atomic Mass: Accepted as 118 lbs. but known to vary from 100 to 550 lbs.
Occurrence: Copious quantities in all urban areas but also found in rural regions
Physical Properties:
1. Surface sometimes plain but usually covered with a painted film
2. Boils at nothing, freezes without reason
3. Melts if given special treatment
4. Bitter if incorrectly used
5. Found in various states ranging from virgin metal to common ore
6. Yields to pressure applied to correct points
Chemical Properties:
1. Has a great affinity for gold, silver, platinum, and precious stones
2. Absorbs great quantities of expensive substances
3. May explode spontaneously without prior warning for no known reason
4. Insoluble in liquids, but activity greatly increased by saturation in alcohol
5. Most powerful money-reducing agent known to man
Common Uses:
1. Highly ornamental, especially in sports cars and sailboats
2. Can be a great aid to relaxation
Tests:
1. Pure specimen turns rosy pink when discovered in the natural state
2. Turns green when placed beside a better specimen
Hazards:
1. Highly dangerous except in experienced hands
2. Illegal to possess more than one
Planning to write again soon,
Mike
Saturday, January 10, 2009
An Uneasy Peace
Hello friends,
Something I read recently started the wheels spinning in my head and I need to talk it out, so bear with me. The article was pointing out that the local church should be "big enough," meaning open enough, to accept and embrace "Christians" of all different lifestyles and beliefs as long as they are saved. It put forth that the only really important thing is to believe in Jesus as your personal Savior. It said that we should "not allow doctrine to divide us." I've been pondering that thesis.
On the one hand I believe that there is only one requirement for salvation and that is our trust in, and absolute submission to, the person of Jesus Christ as Savior and Lord. To enter into God's family is uncomplicated--"Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and thou shalt be saved" (Acts 16:31). However, after that things can start to get a little bit sticky in the local church.
If a Christian holds his doctrinal beliefs very loosely then he can feel at home in any congregation. For example, if we determine that whether or not we baptize infants is merely a matter of taste and preference then it's all good. No problems, mate. And if we conclude that it's of no great theological importance whether or not a Christian can lose his/her salvation, then we will feel equally at home in a Nazarene church or a Presbyterian church. Some would say, "Let's just major on the majors and choose to disagree agreeably." Sounds good, right?
It sounds good until somebody like me comes along and thinks that it is important whether or not the Church has supplanted and replaced Israel as God's chosen people. It sounds good until somebody like me points out that there is not one single case of infant baptism in scripture or in the first few centuries of the church. Or how about a boatload of other issues? Here are a few more that come to mind:
Something I read recently started the wheels spinning in my head and I need to talk it out, so bear with me. The article was pointing out that the local church should be "big enough," meaning open enough, to accept and embrace "Christians" of all different lifestyles and beliefs as long as they are saved. It put forth that the only really important thing is to believe in Jesus as your personal Savior. It said that we should "not allow doctrine to divide us." I've been pondering that thesis.
On the one hand I believe that there is only one requirement for salvation and that is our trust in, and absolute submission to, the person of Jesus Christ as Savior and Lord. To enter into God's family is uncomplicated--"Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and thou shalt be saved" (Acts 16:31). However, after that things can start to get a little bit sticky in the local church.
If a Christian holds his doctrinal beliefs very loosely then he can feel at home in any congregation. For example, if we determine that whether or not we baptize infants is merely a matter of taste and preference then it's all good. No problems, mate. And if we conclude that it's of no great theological importance whether or not a Christian can lose his/her salvation, then we will feel equally at home in a Nazarene church or a Presbyterian church. Some would say, "Let's just major on the majors and choose to disagree agreeably." Sounds good, right?
It sounds good until somebody like me comes along and thinks that it is important whether or not the Church has supplanted and replaced Israel as God's chosen people. It sounds good until somebody like me points out that there is not one single case of infant baptism in scripture or in the first few centuries of the church. Or how about a boatload of other issues? Here are a few more that come to mind:
- Did revelation cease with the completion of the canon or is it continuing?
- Is the Bible to be interpreted literally or merely figuratively?
- Does the mode of baptism have any importance or is it a multiple choice issue, one way being as good as the others?
- Does the Bible allow for both genders to serve in the church equally and in the same ways or is there such a thing as biblical polity and practice?
- Do we get all of the Holy Spirit at the moment of salvation or is there a second dose to be received later on?
- Does God really give Christians a personal prayer language?
- Is speaking in an unknown tongue a sign of the Spirit's presence in a believer's life?
- Is the Lord's Table a memorial or a sacrament?
One of the things I've observed since returning from Brazil in 1991 is the number of American churches that are changing their names to be more generic, more politically correct, more user-friendly, less denominational, etc. Check it out for yourself in the DEX church pages. What used to be called "Such-'n-such Baptist Church" is now "LifePointe Happy Fellowship." What does that name mean, for crying out loud? Or "Here-'n-there Assembly of God" is now "Friendship Community Founded on the Rock." "ThisTown Methodist" is now "Red Sea LifeGate" or something equally nebulous. I see these weird names all over the city and wonder, "Who in the heck are they, and what do they teach?"
In my humble opinion there is something to be said for a church being honest and courageous enough to fly its flag and let people know who they are and what they stand for. I may not agree with them on every point but I can respect them for taking a stand based on their honest interpretation of scripture. If I'm new in town and looking for a church to attend or join I don't want to have to waste my time going to a local church meeting only to find out that they hold to and support women preachers, baptizing infants, the National Gay Christian Alliance [made up name], or Arminian theology. They may have a gifted orator for a preacher, a beautiful building, a killer worship team, a missions ministry going in every direction, and the best nursery in town but those things don't matter much to me. I'm a doctrine guy.
I have worked across denominational lines for years in evangelistic efforts and I actually enjoy it. I can fellowship with people who hold very different theological views from mine, at least in certain settings. However, in the local church where we work to educate believers in what the Bible teaches it eventually gets to the point where lines have to be drawn and issues clarified according to our understanding of the scriptures. As a preacher and teacher of God's Word I cannot say that the issues I have brought up here as examples are of little importance.
For example, when the question arises in the congregation concerning the ordination of women to the pastorate I am not going to remain silent and just go with the flow, no matter how many other churches think it is OK. When an adult Sunday School teacher suddenly decides to teach that baptism is necessary for salvation I'm not going to merely smile at him and say, "Well, that's your opinion." For me, doctrine is very important, even though some of you might think that I'm obsessing over things that aren't all that crucial.
There are local congregations of good Christian folks who love Jesus and are going to Heaven who wouldn't be comfortable for very long with me in their church, because I wouldn't be able to go along with a bunch of the stuff they believe and teach, and wouldn't be able to keep my mouth shut about it. I would be miserable and would make other people miserable, sooner or later.
Until we all get to Heaven and can sort all this stuff out in Remedial Theology 101 Class taught by King Jesus I think that we are stuck with having different flavors of Christianity reflected in the various different denominational groups. Denominations are not of the devil, per se. They are the natural outcome of humans grouping themselves around their particular understanding of important truths. Even though we attend different churches we can still love one another, respect one another, work with one another, and fellowship with one another.
That works for me. How about you? Feel free to comment.
Still pondering,
Mike
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
Christmas Sliding Sideways...
Hello friends,
I haven't written for a while because our lives have been in a bit of a turmoil for the past couple of weeks. Some of you know that my wife's mother has been ill for quite a while and has been living in an elder care facility in Pinedale, Wyoming. We took a whirlwind trip back there in October when we got word that she might not make it through the next 24 hours. But the Lord was not ready yet at that time for her to move into her heavenly mansion. However, early on Christmas Eve morning we got a phone call from Ramel's sister, Deirdre, saying that their mom had gone home to be with Jesus.
As you can imagine that was a tough thing to hear, even though we were somewhat prepared for it. Does anyone ever get fully prepared to lose his mother or father? I don't think so. I know that I was not ready to lose my folks. However, God's ways are higher than our ways and we know that He does not make mistakes. We grieve, but not as those who have no hope. We know that Beulah is with the Lord and that makes all the difference in the world.
We had Mom's memorial service this past Saturday afternoon, Jan. 3rd, and we celebrated her life and remembered together all that she meant to us. But we also honored the One she loved above all others, the Lord Jesus Christ. And we committed her to His gentle care and keeping. On Sunday morning, out in a little pioneer cemetery on the flats above Maupin, Oregon we committed her tired, worn out body to its final resting place until the Lord's return. But we are confident that she is not in that grave. She is with the Lord, and we will see her again, along with all our other loved ones who have gone on to Heaven ahead of us. That is a great comfort.
Resting in God's promises,
Mike
Beulah Mildred (Richmond) Springstead
Finally Home
Born on November 20th, 1922.
Went to be with Jesus on December 24th, 2008.
I haven't written for a while because our lives have been in a bit of a turmoil for the past couple of weeks. Some of you know that my wife's mother has been ill for quite a while and has been living in an elder care facility in Pinedale, Wyoming. We took a whirlwind trip back there in October when we got word that she might not make it through the next 24 hours. But the Lord was not ready yet at that time for her to move into her heavenly mansion. However, early on Christmas Eve morning we got a phone call from Ramel's sister, Deirdre, saying that their mom had gone home to be with Jesus.
As you can imagine that was a tough thing to hear, even though we were somewhat prepared for it. Does anyone ever get fully prepared to lose his mother or father? I don't think so. I know that I was not ready to lose my folks. However, God's ways are higher than our ways and we know that He does not make mistakes. We grieve, but not as those who have no hope. We know that Beulah is with the Lord and that makes all the difference in the world.
We had Mom's memorial service this past Saturday afternoon, Jan. 3rd, and we celebrated her life and remembered together all that she meant to us. But we also honored the One she loved above all others, the Lord Jesus Christ. And we committed her to His gentle care and keeping. On Sunday morning, out in a little pioneer cemetery on the flats above Maupin, Oregon we committed her tired, worn out body to its final resting place until the Lord's return. But we are confident that she is not in that grave. She is with the Lord, and we will see her again, along with all our other loved ones who have gone on to Heaven ahead of us. That is a great comfort.
Resting in God's promises,
Mike
Beulah Mildred (Richmond) Springstead
Finally Home
Born on November 20th, 1922.
Went to be with Jesus on December 24th, 2008.
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